You Say You Know Me

I love the pain it brings me,
I don't know why
The pain is my pleasure,
as I sit there and cry.

Cry myself to sleep,
I wake up to an annoying beep.
The beep of my alarm.
Waking me from my dream

My dreams, my own personal wonderland.
I love it there
I can actually be happy and free.
Without the chains of depression dragging me down.

People say I'm the happiest person they know.
Always bubbly and free.
But I guess they don't know me.

My mask, the one I've been carrying since as long as I can remember,
Has been there for me. The one thing I can count on.
I fake my emotions.
As I have been for the past 13 years.

13 years of sorrow
tears
pain
fears

13 years of lies,
I wish I could just say goodbye.
Goodbye to it all.

I'm done,
it's over.
I hate what I've become.
what I choose to be done isn't up to me
I've never gotten to choose who i want to be.

I love the pain it brings me,
I don't know why
The pain is my pleasure,
as I sit there and cry.